Insecurties/body images

Whenever you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see someone who is beautiful and embrace all of your features? Or do you see an average girl with many bad qualties? Most girls would say the second. Me as a girl who has had her ups and downs about my body image I would most likely say the second one too.
Lets face it, no matter how many people admire your body or looks you can almost always find something wrong with yourself. I myself have big boobs, no butt, lots of curves and thick legs, always have those days where I just feel bloated or fat. A lot of it has to do with how other people image you also. Many people think having big boobs is a good thing, and many girls wish for their boobs to grow a lot bigger. But seriously having big boobs isn't that fun at all. Thats guys ever notice about you at first, they don't look at your personailty or anything like that. And the thing that makes it a lot worst is that they keep on growing, I mean since I'm young they are gonna keep growing for a couple years, so who knows how big they will be when i get older, and it makes me wonder if guys will ever just get grossed out about them. Having big boobs also gives you a body, which deffenitly isn't they best always. There are some days where you just feel really bloated you just feel like sitting at home and doing nothing. Those are the days where you feel fat. Seriously if I could I would trade my boobs for a cups,no questions asked.
Other then body I also feel a lot of insecurties about my personailty. Some days it doesn't seem that I can never fit in which really sucks. I sometimes just like blocking the whole world out and sulking for a day or two. Haha but that wouldn't be the best thing too do.
I don't really know waht I'm trying to say in this blog but I guess what im aiming at is that no matter how many insecurties you have you are beautiful and trust me there are so many girls out there who feel the same way you do and would trade in many of their features for yours.

Wow.

Well Hello there world, so much has happened in the past month. It's so crazy it's like each month has its own theme, this one being heartache and getting over someone. Well where to start, if you didn't catch on me and justin broke up on April 28th. Pretty rough dude. I might as well go out and explain it all. Lets see if you haven't noticed we had been going pretty rought going on and off for the past couple of months and it was jsut horrible. Put me through the most stress because it was my last chance for him. Hahah I liked to say taht I was in love with him but someone who hurts you so much...well that isn't love. I don't know, I just felt like it was always my fault (I'm talking about when we were in the realtionship now that I'm out of it my heads a bit clearer) anyway we I was talkign to him afterschool and he was talking about how the realtionship wasn't gonna work right. So I tried to list the pros of the realtionship while he tried to list the cons. Anyway it went pretty rough hes trying to be all negative and everything. Then I had to go and he said con: this is the end of the realtionship. Well I cried and I ran away crying while he tried to confort me by running after me...but being mad about everything I yelled I hated him and that all he ever did was hurt me. He had teaers in his eyes ran away. Yea I bet you can imagine how I felt then. Horrible. SOOOO horrible. any way I tried to talk to him afterwards but yea eventually he forgave me and got over me. While here I am....sad, totally not over him and just dead inside. Well it took a while and I'm still not completly over him, but I mean I realize what happened, my head isn't as fucked up anymore I now know I can be happy wihtout him. I couldn't of done any of this without my friends, espically my best friend zach. Just wow they are amazing. Well I don't know if me and justin are ever gonna be friends again, I'm sure we will, but I know why I was in a realtionship with him now. So that I could learn. I could learn from my mistakes on this one so I could have the best one later on. So I don't make the same mistakes again and know how to handel situations. It's liek the quote bad things happen so good things can fall into place. So is that basically what a first love is? Helping us realize love isn't all mushy mushy all the time and that there will up and downs. Damn thats deep. That all I have. Until next time, Have a good life.

XO
Gossip Girl.

Breaking down point.

I broke down today. I feel like my life is so out of order and a complete mess. I just don't know what to do, I've broken down in the past months 5 times. I don't know where to start with this blog...My boy friend of 5 months (Justin) forgot our 5 month anniversty, is always insulting me, teasing me, and is flirting with other girls. He also deleted a very important email that I sent him. (I saw over hsi shoulder while he was on his email at school) One night when were about to break up went sent eachother love letters..eh. emails saying how much we loved eachother and promised never to delete them. He did. I feel like he doesn't like me anymore and I'm just being a moody bitch about everything. Well thats the way hes making me feel. arugh. Then to continue with the stress so much is going on in my life right now, and my mom thinks I'm a lying basterd and won't leave me a lone. I'm really insecure and I just don't know what to do..when I try to talk to one of my friends about everything they just blow me off... so I guess thats why I'm tell you...if anyones reading this, about it. Life is a bitch.

Introductions/Lessons in what we want and need

Hey lovers!
This is my blog as you can tell. What I put up here really has no theme. I write when I write, about what's going on in my life? Boring eh? Well not really.
I guess this is the part where I explain who I am. Introductions. Well my name isb'y Mandi Mishaps but I guess you'll never find out what it is ;P. What can I say? I'm a girl, and like most girls I have feelings just about everything. I belive in differnt things then most people, and agree with some on other subjects. I hate to be like everyone else but I guess that's just how thing turn up sometimes right? Well I have a family and friends a boy friend and all that crap but doesn't everyone? I love thrill. It's what makes life exciting. I'm daring and love to try anything new. Anything. Most of friend think I'm basically scared of nothing but I guess I haven't really let them know everything about me yet. The two most horrid things are heights and the dark, Always gets me.

Well what else can I say about my self? Like I said before I'm a girl. I'm medium cute, somewhat populare, and is a to guillible and belives anything. I'm a pretty freeopen spirit and loves to be around people. I could never be a loner. I like who I am...and owuldn't change who I am
Now here comes the exciting part. Gossip.
As any story begins though I have to tell you the prolouge. Boring I know. But it has to start out this. I'm dating someone named Justin. Who never talks to me at school, and has never gone out with me on a date. But I know he likes me. I just know he does. Ok so the story starts at band. I decided to go tot bathroom when my friend *Sara walked out of the room and walked wiht me to the bathroom when we got there she said that Justin was a player and all and like my friend *Jane. As I said before I am a guillble and belive a lot of things so of course at first I belived her. So then later that night I asked Justin about it and he said "Nah were just really good freinds" There was some other stuff too, so I was some what convinved that he only like me. Now before I go on I know this is a bunch of Shit but I guess this blog is for me to just write my life down on paper..going on. So over the next couple days we start hanging out a little more and then one day he left school early (we go tot a charter school) and I was talking to Jane. She said that Michael had showed her an email that said he liked her. So Then I asked michael and he said that email was from three weeks ago and we started dating a little less then three weeks ago. So jsut to be sure I asked him to send me the chat that he had with Justin (the one that Jane was talking about).
Ok so that's enough about that part now time to do some explaing with a whole nother part. Nick and Zach.
Nick is the guy I have have started to like ever since me and jsutin have been dating. If me and justin have to ever break up I woudl go for him. H e doesn't like me, ane I don't know why I like him I jsut do :) anyway we are pretty good friends hung out a couple times. Then theres Zach He is like the guy who is gay and you can to about everything and could never like...well thats about to change cause Ive been hearing a rumor that he likes and that kinda makes me like him shallow I know. Well thats the end of that story for now.
Last part is a little thing I have been thinking about called jealousy. We all have felt it before and usally have it when we see something that we can't have or is better then soemthing else we have.But today is about relationships. You see this girl named Dan and Lauren are dating right and on their Status's for gmail it says "Things I'm thankful for, food family and that beautiful blond girl at ********" and vice versa for Lauren. This made me very jealous because me and justin haven't even gone out on a date yet, and we have said Ily to each other before we were going out you know as friends so idk if its real or not. Oh well thats another road. Well anyway I just wish our relationship was like this.

Well that's all I got! Coming up is deatils about movies with Zach. More gossip/Drama. How all the things I meantioned are going!

Thanks for reading speard the blog around at least to one person thanks!! Bye Lovers!

xoxo