Well Hello there world, so much has happened in the past month. It's so crazy it's like each month has its own theme, this one being heartache and getting over someone. Well where to start, if you didn't catch on me and justin broke up on April 28th. Pretty rough dude. I might as well go out and explain it all. Lets see if you haven't noticed we had been going pretty rought going on and off for the past couple of months and it was jsut horrible. Put me through the most stress because it was my last chance for him. Hahah I liked to say taht I was in love with him but someone who hurts you so much...well that isn't love. I don't know, I just felt like it was always my fault (I'm talking about when we were in the realtionship now that I'm out of it my heads a bit clearer) anyway we I was talkign to him afterschool and he was talking about how the realtionship wasn't gonna work right. So I tried to list the pros of the realtionship while he tried to list the cons. Anyway it went pretty rough hes trying to be all negative and everything. Then I had to go and he said con: this is the end of the realtionship. Well I cried and I ran away crying while he tried to confort me by running after me...but being mad about everything I yelled I hated him and that all he ever did was hurt me. He had teaers in his eyes ran away. Yea I bet you can imagine how I felt then. Horrible. SOOOO horrible. any way I tried to talk to him afterwards but yea eventually he forgave me and got over me. While here I am....sad, totally not over him and just dead inside. Well it took a while and I'm still not completly over him, but I mean I realize what happened, my head isn't as fucked up anymore I now know I can be happy wihtout him. I couldn't of done any of this without my friends, espically my best friend zach. Just wow they are amazing. Well I don't know if me and justin are ever gonna be friends again, I'm sure we will, but I know why I was in a realtionship with him now. So that I could learn. I could learn from my mistakes on this one so I could have the best one later on. So I don't make the same mistakes again and know how to handel situations. It's liek the quote bad things happen so good things can fall into place. So is that basically what a first love is? Helping us realize love isn't all mushy mushy all the time and that there will up and downs. Damn thats deep. That all I have. Until next time, Have a good life.
XO
Gossip Girl.
